Once upon a time, in another world and another place out there in space.
I was young and curious, sought and searched for answers to the most unbelievable questions. I grew up in a
noble family and was educated to become a knight. I travelled far and searched for honour and fame - like all knights
do. I found both, but I never found happiness. There was too much injustice and cruelty out there for me to be
happy. It is only the fools who are happy.
Famous and honoured as I was, I thought it my duty to end all injustice in the world. I knew it was the gods who
were behind this and therefore decided that I should find them and crave answers to why they were so cruel and
unfair. Why they let young boys get cut down on the fields of battle; why they let innocent infants die of disease
in the crib; why they let plague and sickness ravage; why they let some live like slaves their whole life, only
to die filthy and old in their beds. Why were they so cruel?
With my big headed ego I therefore one early morning trampled down to the most wise man in my home-town. I hammered
impudent on the door with an iron glove and announced loud and clear that I wanted his service.
"Where are the gods?"
He was (dressed in a nightgown) astonished, not only by my bearing, but also by my question.
"Where are the gods?"
He repeated my question to himself. He pointed towards the heavens and said:
"There!"
"But I want to talk to them. I have a question for them. Are they never here on earth?"
"It is a long time ago since the gods wandered among us."
He bade me indoors and his servant (who also had been aroused by the commotion) served us food and drinks.
"There once was a time when the gods themselves wandered on earth. They descended from the heavens in their shining wagons and altered everything that existed. Mankind was destroying the whole world. They had burned or cut down all the forest, they had fished all the fish in the sea, they had killed all the animals that existed and the soil which they grew grain on was emaciated. There were too many humans, and all had become bandits. The smoke from the chimneys polluted the rain and made it dangerous to drink. The ocean, lakes and rivers died. The growth and plants, birds and animals that were not already dead because of the humans died too. Even the humans got trouble with breathing the air, which because of the funeral pyres was thick and heavy.
The gods therefore descended to make order. To give life back to our planet. They burned the cities and slaughtered humans in tens of thousands. Lightning and flames rained down upon the fleeing masses. The sea washed up on the land and pulled humans back with it into the deep. The wind blew them away and crushed them against the ground. Mountains collapsed, some over the cities. The whole world lay in ruins. Ashes, mud and rocks, sea and glowing lava had covered everything. Only vestiges of the old world peered over it.
The gods then created a new world and let some people from the old world live there, but to prevent that the humans again demolished the earth they placed Guardians among them. Thereafter the gods travelled back to the heavens. No one has seen them ever since."
"But I must speak with the gods. I must meet them"
"Then you must speak to a Guardian. Find a Guardian. Perhaps he can help you?"
"Where are these Guardians? How may I get a hold of them?"
That I do not know. They are invisible. They only see, they can not be seen."
Once again I ventured out in the world, not to win honour and fame, but to confront the gods with their wrong doings.
I intended to march into Valhalla itself and point accusingly at Odin, while I put forth my allegations, questions
and criticism. "Why are you so unfair and cruel? Why!?" Very content with my noble goal I therefore left
to find a Guardian. I searched high and low, in old ruins from the old world, in high towers and deep caverns,
in mirky forests and over wild seas. There were no Guardians to find. No one who knew where the gods were. No roads
ascending to the heavens.
I was travelling for many years. One follower after another felt down. Some were killed in combat against goblins
and trolls, dragons and bandits, other fell like rocks down from high mountains and walls, some were victims of
plague and sickness, others just died. I do not even remember anymore how and why they all died. There were so
many in the end. My anger only increased. My aggression towards the gods only accelerated in strength. They did
not even care to give me an answer!
In the end I lay there on the ground myself, wounded and dying. Exhausted and weary, dejected and in despair. It
all had been without meaning. Without a solution. Without an answer. Without a cause. It all was going to end in
the mud, where I lay. Bloody and vile. Alone among dead humans that I soon were to join.
It was then that I saw her. A fair being on a white horse. Smiling, almost laughing, she slowly rode towards
me. My vision was double, the horse had eight legs. She laughed at me:
"Hold on if you can."
I did not understand what was happening, everything was so unreal. But, somehow I got up on my legs, and suddenly I was sitting there behind her on the horseback. The horse galloped away as soon as I got a grip around her. In my condition it was not easy to gather everything that happened, but it seemed as we were riding upwards, upwards and ever upwards. Towards the heavens. I clenched to hold on. It went so fast. After a while I hung in a vertical position after the horse. The hands clenched around the hips of the fair woman, but I lost the grip ever more. I cried out. In despair, but also with the hope that she would help me. But she did not help me.
"Hold on if you can."
She nearly grinned it to me again, teasing. There was no compassion, no help. Nothing. I screamed and screamed. I lost my grip around her hips and slid slowly backwards, with my fingers at the horses back and behind. In the end I hung after the horse's tail. Straight out behind it, on its wild race over the heavens.
Everything was silent. There was no other sound but my own screams, and the woman's teasing "Hold on if you can" that rung back and forth in my head. It was not cold, nor warm. I was no longer heavy in my body, but nor was it light. Time somehow stood still. We only rode towards the light up there. Silently. I do not know how long it all lasted. The light enclosed us entirely after a while and the horse began riding downwards again. But I could not endure anymore, I had no strength left. I could not hang on anymore and let go. No! No! No!
But suddenly there I was. I had let go even as we landed. I lay on the ground. The horse stood there. The woman - still smiling and teasing. More fair men and woman assembled. They were so light they shined. Not fair as us, but even lighter. "Bring him here" I heard one of them say.